Pippi Longstocking Gone Wrong

I've just come in from my last walk of the evening with my dog.


The neighourhood is quiet at this hour of the night, a couple sitting out on their front porch, enjoying the still, cool night air. A cat crossing the street on some kind of mission. We pass a couple of dog owners out on their last call. No raccoon sightings, which is not unusual as garbage pick-up was this morning--they've had their fill after rummaging through any of the loose trash before daybreak.

Journey stops her investigative sniffing on a lawn long enough to recognize a person approaching from a distance. I acknowledge the on-coming pedestrian traffic by stepping slightly to the side,motioning Journey over onto the grass to allow an unobstructed passage.

When the person, a female of about thirty years old, gets within two feet of us, she jumps up, lands in a crouch position, at eye-level with my girl, stares at her and doesn't say a word.

I'm fairly thrown by this behavior and Journey has taken a step backward with a concerned expression on her face.

I ask her what she's doing and she lets me know she's 'saying hello' to my dog.

I suggest this isn't the best way to do so anytime but especially in the dark at night.

She then informs me she trains dogs (would NOT have ever slotted her as a trainer--of any sort!) and, 'yes, this is exactly the way you do it'.

'No,' I say, my patience surprising me. 'You should never get down at eye-level with an unknown dog and just stare at it.'

'Too bad you've got a scaredy-cat there. You've made her that way, you know,' she tells me as she's bringing herself back to an erect position.

Fixing her with a frosty, eye-level stare of my own, conscious of her bright blue and white Pippi Longstocking tights, I'm trying to formulate what path I want this confrontaion to to take.

As she slowly starts to pass us, I realize there's no response necessary--I'm dealing with a complete maniac.

Journey twists her neck around and watches Pippi until she's completely out of sight, still wondering, I'm sure, what that human was all about.

Hmm...I wonder if I'll ever get to meet a dog she's trained--or who her employer is??!!?

With her skills, I guess it could be one of those big-box pet stores who are brokers for puppy mills. And I bet you could find a couple of those designer breeds there too!

Lip curling...